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dakotalynn710
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Name: Dakota
Birthday: 7/10/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: I adore...* The Fray. My bestie, Aly. my sister. gymnastics. Jones fufu berry soda. nail polish. pink. makeup. bubble baths. movies. holding hands. laughing till i cant breathe. smiling. pullin allnighters. strawberry daquiris. vacationing to mexico every spring. flipflops. ulta. sewing. coloring. taking pictures. listening to my iPod. talking on my cellphone. meeting new people. hollister. american eagle. forever 21. shopping. spending way too much money.<3
Expertise: gymnastics. cheerleading. sewing. talking. spending all my money.
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  likeasunset55
Member Since:
11/1/2004
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| So...Its been like years since I wrote in this thing. And I thought about it and...I had alot less stress when I used to write in here because it let all of my feelings out. So I have decided to bring it back.
Life has been pretty crazy lately. Just turned 16 so now I have my permit. And I love driving. So I had my sweet sixteen party. And that went well....well, well enough. haha. And recently I've been in these like crazy moods. Well, actually people have been putting me in these crazy moods. haha.
So, he ended things with me saying he didn't want a girlfriend. And that his ex was psycho. And that she controlled his life and he would never get back together with her. LIAR. ha. who would have thought.. He's back with her. ha. funny how things turn out, I know. Resulting in all of his stuff he gave me lying in ashes in my yard. ha. still funny how things turn out. I mean, one minute its a big pretty Happy 16th Birthday balloon.. and 3 other balloons (which I might add, were stabbed to death) and its a pretty birthday card..and a ticket stub with some..well..i guess you could say nice memories. And the next minute, its a pile of ashes. Ha. who would have thought things with so many memories could end up as a big pile of carbon.
Whilst I was burning these things...Aly pulls in the driveway like..." " And I'm in this like totally calm mood like.. hey whats up? haha interesting.
So now I'm after this totally different boy. And I know it will never work out. And he will leave and I will be sad. But hey, Dakota is used to that. So, here goes nothing.
In conclusion, the lesson I learned today was if you get too pissed off, just burn the things that used to mean alot but don't anymore. Just burn them. And don't walk away until everything is burned to ashes. And just sit there. Don't shed any tears. Just think to yourself..."What was I thinking? Wow, you're a dumbass. But hey, now you will know to never do this again." So, never regret. Just learn from your mistakes.
<3 Cota
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| I think its safe to say that
myspace is taking over the world.
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Yesterday and today were very enjoyable. Both days were field trips. Nice, huh? Then last night I found out Shawnie has mono. So I can't see him for like ever. Very sad. One day, and I already miss him...Oh well. Thursday I'm stopping at his house after school to bring him some presents.  But I'm tired. Hope I'm not getting mono too... That would suck majorly. Well see ya'll later.
<3 Dakota
I love you Shawnie!! Feel better... | | |
| I honestly am just like lost right now. I wanted things to change so bad after New Years. But its like nothing is. And I feel like I'm not doing much to change them. I know you need to put forth effort to affect change but I dont even know where to start. I'm pretty much stuck in a hole with no help to get out and I'm going nowhere. I'm not getting worse but I'm not getting better. Thats another thing. I don't exactly need better.. Maybe just different. I just feel like nothing I do works out, nothing is successful, nothing I do makes a difference or makes anyone feel better. Because that is success. Success is changing things for the better, putting a smile on someone's face. I don't even feel like I can put a smile on Shawn's face anymore. I just feel done. Like I can't go forward or backward if I really wanted to. I'm stuck. I don't ever feel appreciated or loved. Sometimes I even feel like switching schools just so maybe I can have a fresh new start. Maybe I've worn out my welcome here. I've lost most of my friends and I do feel sad about that. Horrible actually because I miss them. But I guess those kinds of things are hard to fix. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm giving up. I don't even care if anyone comments on this or even reads it for that matter. It may even be my last entry, I don't know. Maybe I'm going about everything to wrong way. I don't know what to do. I wish I could have help but I guess I can only help myself. I feel like theres only a few I can run to. One is having some of the same problems as me, one is oblivious, and one is in denial of my problems and thinks I'm a faggot for thinking that way. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it does mean its done. But I can tell you one thing, its not going anywhere. I'm losing it more and more everyday. I love him more everyday and everyday he loves me less. I guess its beginning to become a problem but I don't want to lose it. I'd rather fight with him than love anyone else.
To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn't winning and it isn't losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It's having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It's all about that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon have again. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It's realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and to set your self free.
iloveyoushawnie. | | |
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